My Greatest Fear...

Well,
Atop bees, wasps, hornets, and such...I have an even greater fear.
A fear that something could happen to my children, my husband, even myself.
I read today that an actress, Brittany Murphy,just callasped in her home. It is said that she died of full cardiac arrest. This kind of hit a really soft spot with me because..
1. It is soooo close to the holidays, and i feel as though no one should ever have to lose someone close to them so close to such a happy time. And from now on this holiday will always be remembered to them as the time of year when they lost their loved one.

and 2. Because it just spooks me to know that things like that happen, just one day your here and the next your not. I am thankful for everyday that I am given to be with, or talk to my loved ones.

I once had this dream when I was younger that I have never forgotten, it haunts me and makes me tear up everytime I think of it. Well, your wondering what it is right...Ok, so I don't now remembe rthe details to the dream, I remember there was an accident and my mother and brother died in the accident, I drove past as the car was being put out...At the time not knowing who was int he car, because it was so demolished. But so then after finding out who it was I was left to take care of my other brother...and one day when times seemed so tough,, I received a phone call on my phone, I looked at the phone and it had the weirdest number i'd ever seen, it was like..137kl4...it was weird cause the number had letters in it. But anyway, I answered and it was my brother who had just died in the accident. He was calling to tell me that if I needed mom for anything that this was the number to reach her at in heaven. Ok ok I know yes deep right, ya i know...

I am one who hasn't had to face much sadness in my life. Yes their are the ups and down that everyone has, but I have to say I haven't lost anyone close to me. I dread the day I do. Yes I know it is inevitable, and the day is coming which just make sme treasure everyday that much more.
This time of year makes me soo happy, unfortunately this blog isn't really portraying that very well, but it is true. I am thankful for much in my life!!!
I tell my husband I love him everytime we go to hang up the phone, we try very hard to say it every night before we fall asleep, I tell my girls I love them spontaneously through out the day, just so they know, I kiss them every time we get into the car, just in case...yes I'm sorry depressing I know, but those are the things that make me HAPPY!!! The simple things in life..the "I Love Yous", the just sitting around watching tv not doing anything..all of the moments spent just being happy. I would give anything for it to never change, for my life to always stay as happy and love filled as it is right this minute, to never have to feel pain or sadness. But the day will come where something sad and challenging will happen, and I will know that I have my husband, my children, my family, and my friends who will be there to see me through.
I know this blog was not like the others I have written, this one was really coming from the heart.
My heart goes out to the famiy who lost their loved one, Brittany Murphy, and I hope they are able to celebrate her life and the time that was enjoyed while she was here.
I also want to wish anyone who is brave enough to read this whole post...
A VERY MERRY Christmas...May you get everything you wish for from santa this year, hehe. May you enjoy every minute with your loved ones, tell then how much you love them way to much, take WAY to many pictures, and just be HAPPY!!!

May the sun shine, all day long,
everything go right, and nothing wrong.
May those you love bring love back to you,
and may all the wishes you wish come true!"
~Irish Blessing